We always hear women say “I’m looking for Mr right” and the usual character traits that they ascribe to Mr Right always tend to be caring, honest, friendly, compassionate, etc, etc… but in reality they never see a Mr Right. Here is what they actually see…
The Religious One:
The guy doesn’t really mind being around women and hanging out with them though he claims wadaad status. Having found some solace in religion, he decided to keep a beard. Though he suppresses it vehemently, his desire for the woman in his company is great. He has the urge to let go of his inhibitions but cannot do so. So he resorts to the usual “you would look so good in a Hijab, you know!” stuff. He always talks about marriage and Hijab and soon finds himself being absconded from by his female company.
The Brother:
Though fascinated by his presence and she secretly admires him, she convinces herself that he is simply her brother – but cannot control her sudden gushes of emotion as soon as he enters the house. He is her brother’s friend that she only sees but does not know personally, for her brother is watching her. One false move and they both die. She makes up for this by making an extra-special effort to clean the house and prepare shaah and uunsi before they arrive. When her brother calls and says “I’m coming home” she asks “Ma keligaa?”
The Nice-Guy:
This is the worst status to be in as a man. This nice guy is overtly friendly and very accommodating with women. A woman who considers you to be a nice-guy – the sort of person that she can rely on anytime she feels her emotional lifeline is depleted – sees you just as she sees a tiny harmless puppy. And that’s what you will always be – a physically harmless puppy. She will always talk to you about her relationships and come to you seeking advice in relationship matters, but that’s all. You are not in the equation as a stirrer. The nice guys is simply there for the purposes of relaying emotional baggage and is worth nothing more than introducing to family members and other female friends. One of the girls, as they call him!
The Mr know it all:
This guy has women have trouble communicating with. He knows everything, yet knows nothing. Though they loathe his attitude, women are attracted to him simply because of his high level of confidence and arrogance. He never pays them any compliments of any sort nor says things to please them. He says things as he sees them and women don’t like the truth, especially about their weight!
The Loaded Lorry:
As a susceptible twat lacking self-confidence, women love this type of guy. He takes care of their expenses and drives a car to meet their shopping needs. He is simply a cab driver, but in return for his services, makes sure his friends see him with the girl to emanate a signal of “player-status” to his friends. He will always be there, but will never get nothing more than a goodnight kiss on the cheecks.
The Pseudo-Romatic:
He is the one that would be in the queue at the florist buying that nice bouquet for the woman he met three days ago. Or you might see him in Body Shop buying tropical scented moisturizers and exfoliating creams. Or he would be at Clinton cards purchasing an Anniversary card for his month-long love. Women do Not detest this guy – they laugh at him and turn an insincere face to him with “aaaaah! That is so sweet of you, you didn’t need to do that” as she tucks the Lavender Massage oils into her bag. At night, when the girls get together, she would relate how much he loves her and how much he is willing to do for her, but she will NEVER let her girls see him. She just likes his endless gifts.
The Mysterious guy:
He waits and watches – very meticulous in his observation. She observes him too in different places at different times and though he sees her, doesn’t approach her or talk to her. He simply smiles at times, to which she bashfully lowers her head in acknowledgement. He urge to get to know him becomes great as a fire is ignited in her insides. When they speak, finally, he listens intently as she in stages spills her innermost secrets. Gradually he ensnares her into a well-weaved web, withdrawing himself at times and lulling them into some comfort zone, and through several intricate mazes until they reach the destination he intended for them – i.e they start developing a severe inclination towards him. At this heightened point of sensation he withdraws, leaving her lingering for more, and she is lost. He resurfaces, months later, and the process starts all over again. Women love this sort of guy who stirs their imagination. So much so, that at the point of his withdrawal they start embellishing images of their own fancy. To him they are simply psychological experiments.
The Joker:
Fun and bubbly to be out and about with, yet a mysterious bubble surrounds him and he is luxuriate in false compliments that would buy so easily when he stops smiling. Girls know little about him since they spend most of their time in his company giggling about a silly thing he said, but he knows all about them – and they don’t know it. Women tend to like this guy a lot, and have the tendency of fighting between them. No strings attached, he sees them as toys. They all know that he sees each and every one of them separately, yet they are fine with it. He is charming and great to have when they go out. He doesn’t drive and doesn’t pay the bill when they eat – he simply entertains and pleases all. All expenses paid.
The Thick One:
This guy is a lucky bastard but doesn’t realize that. No matter how many hints a lady drops, this thick-skulled, hair-brained geezer will never get it. Hints as subtle as “so, what are you upto tonight?” never register in his head. “Nothing, am sleeping” he replies casually, killing any advancement fro the generous lady and the invitation he would have got for a night out. This miserable goon never learns and cares little for what the women think for he cannot read between the lines. Women find that he has potential but cannot tell him directly. Sometimes a woman has to adopt a masculine impatience and tell him straight up of his inadequacy to charm.
The Loafer:
He is the sort of person determining whether the woman he sees is worthy of getting laid or not! To him most women are simply sex objects to satisfy his needs and the women who flock to him are great in number – no strings attached! Simply a business transaction. A fair exchange?
loool great topic Shafi…First of all, you have definitely put a lot of forethought to these categories, so good job on that…Once I was done reading it though I couldn’t help but really think is this how women see men?…Cause I think if it is what women see maybe the names would be different like “joker” would be “commitment phobia” or the “loafer” would be “gigolo” and etc…One category stood out for me and it was the “nice guy” one…I think it is the most misunderstood one, because what you described there sounds like a male friend nothing else…Thus as a friend is treated like one, not to be confused with one of the girls…I think there is a difference between being nice and a doormat, and I don’t like woman or men who are doormat and have everyone run over them…Nice guy is someone who is genuinely nice not acting nice to get something from a girl or win her affection…Now knowing you as much as I have I think I could see which category of yours you fall into, what do women see when they look at you Shafi?…bee bye, Khadra
he brother i like your article very much so i cross post it in my blog..hope its fine with you….it’s really an excellent article…:)
best wishes,
samiha esha
Hehe, et tu? Which one are u to most women? :)
The brother part cracked me up…Now i know what my cuzo really means whenever she asks “Ma keligaa?” when i tell her am coming.
Khadra,the Nice Guy category is a really confused one. Yes there is a fine line between being a Nice-guy and acting being a Doormat but to the women i don’t think the two make much of a difference, do they?
Which category is it i fall into you think Khadra?
Samiha, No problem dear!
Paradise, I am a “Walaal” – and that is walaaltinimadii inaga dhaxeysey hadeynu dad muslim Soomaali ah! ;)
Anonymous – hahaha! maya heedhe, don’t be that suspicious! not healthy
A Big LOL….so funny
I am thinkin of which 1 u fall under??? lol
lool oh no buddy I asked you the question first so you go first…As to your comment whether women see a difference, they do, the true women those who are mature and had experienced the world…Again the guy isn’t blameless either, I mean he is allowing what is happening to him, because he has ulterior motive or hidden agenda…From personal experience, any somali fella who behaved nicely or put on the “good guy” act, always had an angle which came to light later on…As I said the meaning of “nice guy” is misconstrue in my personal opinion…bee bye
fefe, none! haha
Khadra, My category is the Faarax, which i haven’t listed for obvious reasons!
lol@personal experience. In a way you are right, but that is the case in majority of times, hence why men and women cannot simply be platonic friends. One of the two has some ulterior motives which will soon erupt after a breif period of repression, right?