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Archive for January, 2007


We always hear women say “I’m looking for Mr right” and the usual character traits that they ascribe to Mr Right always tend to be caring, honest, friendly, compassionate, etc, etc… but in reality they never see a Mr Right. Here is what they actually see…

The Religious One:

The guy doesn’t really mind being around women and hanging out with them though he claims wadaad status. Having found some solace in religion, he decided to keep a beard. Though he suppresses it vehemently, his desire for the woman in his company is great. He has the urge to let go of his inhibitions but cannot do so. So he resorts to the usual “you would look so good in a Hijab, you know!” stuff. He always talks about marriage and Hijab and soon finds himself being absconded from by his female company.

The Brother:

Though fascinated by his presence and she secretly admires him, she convinces herself that he is simply her brother – but cannot control her sudden gushes of emotion as soon as he enters the house. He is her brother’s friend that she only sees but does not know personally, for her brother is watching her. One false move and they both die. She makes up for this by making an extra-special effort to clean the house and prepare shaah and uunsi before they arrive. When her brother calls and says “I’m coming home” she asks “Ma keligaa?”

The Nice-Guy:

This is the worst status to be in as a man. This nice guy is overtly friendly and very accommodating with women. A woman who considers you to be a nice-guy – the sort of person that she can rely on anytime she feels her emotional lifeline is depleted – sees you just as she sees a tiny harmless puppy. And that’s what you will always be – a physically harmless puppy. She will always talk to you about her relationships and come to you seeking advice in relationship matters, but that’s all. You are not in the equation as a stirrer. The nice guys is simply there for the purposes of relaying emotional baggage and is worth nothing more than introducing to family members and other female friends. One of the girls, as they call him!

The Mr know it all:

This guy has women have trouble communicating with. He knows everything, yet knows nothing. Though they loathe his attitude, women are attracted to him simply because of his high level of confidence and arrogance. He never pays them any compliments of any sort nor says things to please them. He says things as he sees them and women don’t like the truth, especially about their weight!

The Loaded Lorry:

As a susceptible twat lacking self-confidence, women love this type of guy. He takes care of their expenses and drives a car to meet their shopping needs. He is simply a cab driver, but in return for his services, makes sure his friends see him with the girl to emanate a signal of “player-status” to his friends. He will always be there, but will never get nothing more than a goodnight kiss on the cheecks.

The Pseudo-Romatic:

He is the one that would be in the queue at the florist buying that nice bouquet for the woman he met three days ago. Or you might see him in Body Shop buying tropical scented moisturizers and exfoliating creams. Or he would be at Clinton cards purchasing an Anniversary card for his month-long love. Women do Not detest this guy – they laugh at him and turn an insincere face to him with “aaaaah! That is so sweet of you, you didn’t need to do that” as she tucks the Lavender Massage oils into her bag. At night, when the girls get together, she would relate how much he loves her and how much he is willing to do for her, but she will NEVER let her girls see him. She just likes his endless gifts.

The Mysterious guy:

He waits and watches – very meticulous in his observation. She observes him too in different places at different times and though he sees her, doesn’t approach her or talk to her. He simply smiles at times, to which she bashfully lowers her head in acknowledgement. He urge to get to know him becomes great as a fire is ignited in her insides. When they speak, finally, he listens intently as she in stages spills her innermost secrets. Gradually he ensnares her into a well-weaved web, withdrawing himself at times and lulling them into some comfort zone, and through several intricate mazes until they reach the destination he intended for them – i.e they start developing a severe inclination towards him. At this heightened point of sensation he withdraws, leaving her lingering for more, and she is lost. He resurfaces, months later, and the process starts all over again. Women love this sort of guy who stirs their imagination. So much so, that at the point of his withdrawal they start embellishing images of their own fancy. To him they are simply psychological experiments.

The Joker:

Fun and bubbly to be out and about with, yet a mysterious bubble surrounds him and he is luxuriate in false compliments that would buy so easily when he stops smiling. Girls know little about him since they spend most of their time in his company giggling about a silly thing he said, but he knows all about them – and they don’t know it. Women tend to like this guy a lot, and have the tendency of fighting between them. No strings attached, he sees them as toys. They all know that he sees each and every one of them separately, yet they are fine with it. He is charming and great to have when they go out. He doesn’t drive and doesn’t pay the bill when they eat – he simply entertains and pleases all. All expenses paid.

The Thick One:

This guy is a lucky bastard but doesn’t realize that. No matter how many hints a lady drops, this thick-skulled, hair-brained geezer will never get it. Hints as subtle as “so, what are you upto tonight?” never register in his head. “Nothing, am sleeping” he replies casually, killing any advancement fro the generous lady and the invitation he would have got for a night out. This miserable goon never learns and cares little for what the women think for he cannot read between the lines. Women find that he has potential but cannot tell him directly. Sometimes a woman has to adopt a masculine impatience and tell him straight up of his inadequacy to charm.

The Loafer:

He is the sort of person determining whether the woman he sees is worthy of getting laid or not! To him most women are simply sex objects to satisfy his needs and the women who flock to him are great in number – no strings attached! Simply a business transaction. A fair exchange?

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Yes, here we go again! This case, highlighted a few days ago, might have turned into another Shabina Begum case, but unfortunately, the school lacks the wherewithal to fight the case without the council’s help.

I am not going to say that the 12-year old in question does not have the right to wear her Niqab – she has every right to wear it (especially in this case since she chose to wear it on her own accord). Her religion demands it (though there is still a debate whether it is obligatory to wear or not) and so she must. Everybody must have complete autonomy over what he or she does with regard to his/her religion. Right? It is the only sphere in life where a person can say he/she enjoys his freedom. Yes, it is a religious symbol for her and any basis of exclusion on this is totally unlawful, but Muslims also must understand that they are in a country where Islam is not the major religion and they are bound to face such threats. And, at times, in order to practice their religion to their best ability it would be advantageous for them to reside in places where it is practiced fully. The British are more than generous to have allowed us to practice our religion – despite the ongoing disputes.

As for the British public, we know that this issue of wearing the Niqab provokes a wide spectrum of opinions and resentment alike. All the British public keep reiterating is the same old line “If Muslims want to live in our country, then they must learn our language and adopt our cultures”. But think about this for a moment. Many British people, or westerners for that matter, live in the Middle East and other Muslim countries. Now wouldn’t they take umbrage if the governments of those countries imposed the full Hijab clothing and the Niqab upon their women and daughters in the face of the sweltering heat?

“If you wish to live in our country, then you must learn our language and fully clothe yourselves!” What if that was the case?

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The power of these two effortless words is absolutely remarkable. But in today’s fast-paced world, who has the time to stop by and say Thank You, genuinely. Such pleasantries are outdated and old- fashioned. We are too busy and our lives are too hectic. Right?

I was at Tesco’s today, patiently waiting in a long queue to be served. A young black lady sat behind the counter. Her expressionless face greeted the customers as they paid for their items, but they were too busy to notice that and quickly dashed off after the receipt. At last my turn came. I smiled and said “Thank you very much for your help. Have a great day” after receiving my change and receipt. A broad smile decorated her face instantaneously and I could see she was significantly relieved – the feeling, as I perceived it, was similar to a thirsty person whose thirst has been quenched. It did not take much to say it, but the effect it brought about was immeasurable and on the way back I made a resolution that from today on, I will genuinely thank anyone who has done something for me – especially someone who has gone out of their way to do it.

We all need the acknowledgement. If you have received a great service at the superstore today, let the person who served you know. Their life is monotonous as they sit behind such counters for great lengths of time doing a repetitive job. And trust me, it makes a lot of difference. When your stop arrives and the bus comes to a halt, a simple Thank you to the driver would brighten up his day, or even the lady at the post office. If your grateful for something, let the person who made it possible know. They would greatly appreciate it.

And of course it must be very sincere, otherwise a feelings of resentment automatically grabs the person as they might think its manipulation. Be genuine. Say it and mean it. If you don’t mean it, its easy to see through some false-pretence.

How often do you say Thank you?

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This case has become an international affair, caused a diplomatic incident, provoked protests in India, received nearly 22,000 complaints, reached the House of Commons – all this for what?

For calling her an Indian and describing her eating habits?

Big Brother is a social experiment, and it’s main objective is to cause controversy, and she very well knew the circumstances and what she was getting herself into before she signed the contract, didn’t she? So why all this furore? There are far more demanding issues to discuss and debate about at the Commons that a case like this, aren’t they?

I do not watch Big Brother – its vulgar, it’s obscene and the people taking part with the mercenary turn of mind are all undignified. I have, however, watched briefly, the clips of what was said and there is no denying that there could have been elements of racism there, but the fact is she was simply bullied! plain and simple. She was ganged upon. As for racism, it has been here since time immemorial and will always be here – there will always be the boorish ignorants with their bigotry out there somewhere, but it doesn’t deserve such coverage!

So, is the media blowing this thing entirely out of proportion or is it a reflection of how sensitive the British have become to anything related to racism?

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It was a bright and beautiful morning today. The golden rays of the sun gave the fertile earth a striking radiance. I serenely watched the sun ascend the sky and listened to Nick Ferrari on LBC 97.3 while taking my nephews and nieces to school. It was there where I discovered the trial of the failed London Bombings of 21/7.

Half an hour later, I was outside Belmarsh. I wanted to hear the proceedings of the case and joined a long line of TV presenters, journalists, Photographers and Cameramen all standing in the cold, outside Woolwich Crown Court. One by one, they went through the metal barriers and extensive security checks. Having placed my bag and all contents of my pocket in the screening unit, I walked through the metal detectors and they started beeping. I had to take off my jacket, re-assure him that it was my belt buckle, raise my hands and stand for a full body search just to be let in. Several police officers carrying firearms guarded the place and walked back and forth. I became anxious. What if one of them trigger-happy ones just pointed it at me?

Court Room 3. That’s where the case of the six men – Mr Ibrahim, 28, from Stoke Newington in north London, Mr Mohamed, 25, from North Kensington in west London, Mr Omar, 26, from New Southgate in north London, Mr Osman, 28, of no fixed address, Mr Asiedu, 33, of no fixed address, and Mr Yahya, 24, of Tottenham in north London – accused of plotting to murder Londoners was to be heard. I went upstairs squeezing past the swarm of journalists. I felt a bit uneasy, but went through the double-doors where a uniformed man guarded the entrance. As I approached him, he took one glance at me.

“Are you a friend, family member, relative, what?” he asked

“None,” I replied.

I was the only Somali person there. To be honest, there were three black people there altogether including me. Nevertheless, I was rather surprised by his automatic assumption that having the same complexion or similar features as the accused men makes me somehow related to them or an acquaintance.

“then, you are?” he asked inquisitively

“the Public,” I answered, emphasizing the word public. Yes, I was simply an enthusiast of the courts.

“Sorry mate, the public gallery is already filled,” he replied

“How about the press gallery?” I enquired, presenting him my press card.

“That has been filled too,” he replied, looking at me slightly puzzled.

Maybe i should have just said Family, then he would have let me in. Hmm…

Other cases of Drug trafficking etc, were to be heard in other courts, but not as interesting as this one, so I made my way home disappointed. To be there and hear the case unfold is far more rewarding than watching its review on the screen, isn’t it?

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On Saturday the Somali Parliament approved of a Martial Law to be imposed in the Horn. A day later and it is bedlam throughout the capital. A sort of guerrilla warfare has taken root, just as we expected. And if the president is still intent on disarming the entire Somali population, whilst Ethiopian troops live in our midst, then maybe its high time he mulled over his imprudent certitude . It is foolish to think that the Somali people can be disarmed or should be even expected to disarm whilst enemy soldiers freely move around the capital in convoys of military trucks! As long as Ethiopian soldiers are free to roam in Somalia, there will be no calm and tranquillity from these deadly attacks

All we wish for is a respite from the strife that’s tearing us apart, but that won’t be possible with the Ethiopians’ inflammatory presence. What needs to be considered here is the safety of the people; they do not feel safe with Ethiopians in their country, and the move by the government to disarm the militia is simply bound to rouse the commoners. By taking away their guns, their safety is at stake, and that is something they are not willing to compromise for anything! So we’re back to where we started…

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Africa, the second largest continent in the world after Asia, mostly consists of high plains and plateaus, deserts, rainforests and dry grasslands (savannahs), and not to mention the high levels of poverty. And although dense tropical forests lie in extensive areas in Africa where the trees flourish with plenty of rainfall, unfortunately large scale felling of trees for timber hardwoods such as Mahogany and Teak threatens to destroy the rainforests.

But why is it that this continent is much of a delight to the western world? Below are a few facts about the continent Blair considers “a scar on the conscious of the world”?

Guinea – has 30% of the world’s known reserves of bauxite.
– Deposits of diamond, iron, copper, manganese, uranium and gold

Sierra Leone – diamond is the chief export, even some still mined by hand.
– Huge deposits of gold, bauxite and titanium ore.

Nigeria – first in Africa and ranked highly in the world, Nigeria oil accounts for 95% of the country’s exports.

Ghana – huge reserves of gold have replaced cocoa as a major source of income.
– Still one of the largest producers of Cocoa.

Kenya – World fourth largest producer of tea.
– Kenya makes more money from tourism than anything else because of its game reserves and parks.

Zambia – World’s sixth largest producer of copper
– Second largest producer of cobalt.
– Has mines of lead, silver and zinc.

Botswana – Third largest producers of Diamond and a haven for world life.
– World’s top tourist destination (wildlife)

Zimbabwe – Coal, gold, asbestos, nickel, etc mined for export

Madagascar – Largest exporter of Vanilla

Mauritius – The desert contains the largest deposit of gypsum – used to make plaster. – Also has the largest reserves of iron and exports gold.

Ivory Coast – World’s leading producer of cocoa beans.
– unfortunately all forests in this country have been sold off to pay foreign debt!

Burundi – has massive oil and nickel reserves beneath Lake Tanganyika

Congo – copper ore, cobalt and diamond make up 85% of the nations exports.
– Second in the world diamond export.

Egypt – Leading producer of cotton

Sudan – has vast oil and mineral resources

Uganda – mineral resources such as copper, gold and cobalt

Eritrea – vast copper resources under its mountains and access to the sea’s oil fields.

Tanzania – Oil, diamond and gas have been discovered

Libya – oil and natural gas discovered in 1959 made this it a wealthy nation.

Algeria – crude oil and natural gas abundant

Angola – Petroleum makes up 90% of the country’s exports.
– Also ranks highly in the diamond export.

Namibia – rich in mineral resources

South Africa – rich in gold and diamond.

Mali – cotton is the biggest export.

…well, now you know!

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