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Archive for November, 2006

Feeling old…

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My Grand-daughter!  born in August…

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She towered over me with an earnest look in her eyes, as I sat in the crowded 380 bus from Thamesmead. From time to time, she’d hurl a quick glance my way, hold it for a few seconds, and then retreat. Shifting her weight from one leg and now to the other and pushing the golden strands of hair that clustered around her delicate face, she’d once again give me another fleeting look. She looked out of place – as if she did not belong to that part of the society where commuting on crowded, steamed and stench-ridden buses was a daily ritual. She was very elegant too – a willowy woman of the refined class she seemed and acted like it was her first time on buses (probably her car broke down). She had a face that glistened like early morning dew and a delicate yet pungent fragrance that wafted through the bus, easing the mists of suffocation with its sweet scent.

I interpreted her quick glances and restlessness as an attempt to persuade me to vacate my seat for her, but I didn’t. I would have done though, had she been fragile and old but she was only in her late 30s or early 40s. Was I wrong?

Though I was brought up in a country where a man never sits whilst a woman, or a girl for that matter, is standing, and where vacating your seat for any woman, young or old is obligatory and a prerequisite for good manners, yet I didn’t. I wanted to, but did not and I don’t know why! is it due to to-day’s time and age? There was a time even here in England when men possessed gentlemanly manners! But that era is long gone and the chivalrous Englishman has departed, insolence filling his void!

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Lets see if the power of the Blogs and circulation can change something and bring to justice the assailant of our American friend Jackie Danicki. “If you’re in London, Jackie Danicki could use your help with a photo identification”….

I have witnessed some roughness whilst on London Transport on several occassions, though I was lucky enough not to be involved!

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Just six things!

I have been tagged by Angel Eyes  a very long time ago to list six weird things about myself! (yes, she considers me weird and i am gonig to prove it to her)

But to be honest I don’t exactly know what things to write here or what sorts of character traits constitute to weirdness in me. Things you consider “weird” might be very ordinary for me whereas things you would consider very ordinary might sound very bizarre to me. There are hundreds of things I could list, but take a peek at the modest few:

1 – Not a single soul actually “knows” me personally entirely – I hate getting attached to people and have this constant need to keep my relations always at an arm’s length, never letting them get to know who I really I am. i don’t “feel” as though i can be attached to anyone, its pathetic!

2 – I love being on my own at most times and would be infuriated if people disturb my meditative mood. That’s why I visit the Thames riverbank most times and watch the world go by. I know, I Think a lot!

3 – I strive to make things as minimalist as I could – I never take anything seriously unless it is really worthy of taking it so.

4 – I have several personalities – too many to mention – and often utilise whichever best suits the situation.

5 – It would take a lot of strain to make me angry – I am the calmest person I know and often think thoroughly of the consequences of any actions I take. In fact I can’t even remember being very angry for a very long time.

6 – Last but not least – Yes! I eat everything with a banana – I even made a soup out of banana and potatoes once when there was nothing else to cook in the house! It was delicious I must admit.

I hope that satisfies you Angel! and trust me there are a lot more to mention. As for tagging other people, almost all the active bloggers have been tagged!

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I think have become very boring lately. With work and studies taking up most of my time my social life has dwindled, and my circle of friends died out except fro the very loyal Three whom i’ve lived with for years. I no longer find any special pleasure in idle conversations and social gatherings that bear no fruit and loathe the idea of meeting new people. Meeting a new person is like moving to a new house; everything is scenic and delightful for the first few weeks and the unfamiliar gleam and beauty attract your eye but after that, everything becomes so mundane and ordinary – so uninspiring and unattractive. You strive to preserve everything in its pristine condition for a few weeks, that’s until everything falls apart and gradually descending into mediocrity, melting into your mind as commonplace, then you would want to move to a new house again!

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I remember being beaten black and blue and humiliated in front of visitors or passer-by’s. At time’s I’d wished the ground beneath my feet would swallow me instead of having to put up with such extreme forms of punishment, and at times I thought it better to be beaten senseless so it ends at once rather than having to endure a humiliating scolding whose scars would last a lifetime.

Somali parents, though adroit at many things, are not very skilful when it comes to disciplining their children, then they wonder why their children are violent and behave in shameful ways. Good behaviour stems from good relationships and good role models, doesn’t it?

A child learns everything there is learn from his home – if he is shouted at at home, he would shout at others, if he is constantly being beaten, he would lose self-confidence and become hostile, if he is respected, he learns to respect others, if complimented, he learns to praise others, and so on. Yet with regards to behaviour we teach our children so little and expect so much from them. You’re more likely to achieve compliance by respecting the child and listening to his needs, instead of shouting at him. It is also important to remember that the tonalities of your speech and your behaviour all have a direct bearing on the actions of a child later on in life.

Children should be taught to have an inner voice – some of us call it conscious – so that they can police themselves instead of us having to punish them repeatedly for mistakes they would repeat. They need to be taught the consequences of making good choices and bad choices – cause and effect but with wisdom and tolerance! If you punish them they would only avoid what they are being punished for because they know you are going to punish them, not because they think it is wrong. Also our brains do not work on negative commands. If I were to tell you “do NOT think about an Orange” you probably would have thought about it long before I finished saying it. How we behave as adults towards our children is going to influence how they behave towards others!

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Pudsey comes to School

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Despite commanding them to be silent, the silent murmur could still be heard from the back of the classroom, as I stand in for a teacher. I start to direct the children to open up the page in their textbooks, but they sit starring at me, then suddenly en masse, they break in laughter – to which I joined in too for I was unable to silence them! We were celebrating Children In Need Appeal at the school in order to raise some money for the thousands of children that desperately need it. Majority of the children came to school dressed in their home clothes, with Pudsey snugly under their arms, and all the teachers were in narrow school strip-ties and skirts and pony-tails (for the female teachers), hence the shrieks of laughter from the children. They for once appreciated the change in uniform and laughed as much as their tiny lungs could at our expense – all for a worthy cause though!

The BBC Children in Need Appeal is in full swing, and you too can do your bit by donating here for this good cause

Happy Pudsey Day…party_pudsey.gif

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