I once fell out with a good friend of mine because I called her stupid. That’s it, stupid. I found it somewhat ridiculous that anyone would be upset by such a word, which is used very loosely. I was baffled and resorted to the usual “such is a woman’s heightened level of sensitivity” attitude, but I believe that it was more than just the word that annoyed her.
It was I perhaps, and the word stupid, which I uttered carelessly as I often do, was used as a mechanism to “instigate” a squabble. I couldn’t understand it and dismissed it at the time as something insignificant, but later I tried hard to figure out why and how it came to such a situation after several years of friendship and couldn’t. All I was left with was that I believed it to be an intense emotional need for drama – nothing else. It has happened on several occasions after that too, quarrelling about trivial things such as “why didn’t you return my calls?” “Your just like every other man”, and so on and so forth. This led me to question, are women in constant need for such drama in their lives, or am I misjudging things here?
To be honest I do not worry my mind trying to figure out why women do certain things at times, because I believe would be of no benefit to me and to them. Many times, though, I tried to offer advice to several female friends of mine who at the time sought it, and in most cases all I could do was have some sort of sympathy towards them but nothing more. How could you empathize with someone when you don’t understand their problems and are not au fait with their habits. And then they become upset and say ridiculous things such as “You don’t care do you?” I even sometimes think that women perceive things somewhat differently than they originally see them and even process them in another way in their minds.
Probably they are not even looking for any advice but merely need someone to share their melancholic tales with, or perhaps they just feel obliged to get the weight off their chest, or maybe they don’t even need to solve the problem but need to experience it once again by invoking it, I don’t know! Though I do show sympathy to their feelings, and reassure them, I cannot say I understand them, nor am I trying to. But I love observing them. It always gives me great pleasure to see how they react to different situations. I often utter ridiculous words myself at times and come up with absurd theories as to why women behave this way – just to see how they react! Priceless pleasure, I say
On a lighter note, a joke I read somewhere stated “there was only one man who finally understood women, but he died laughing before he could tell anyone” ;)
They get something out of their behaviour just as you do out of your provocative theories. So tell us, what’s pleasurable about ruffling a bird’s feathers? :)
Does respect breeds’ understanding or understanding breeds respect?…She is your friend, you have known her for years, so she is past being just any woman you trying to understand…At this stage of things between you guys, you are aware of her pet-peeves or things she takes to heart…So you, as a friend, should have the consideration for your friend to not do things to annoy them at all time…Sometimes people are sensitive to certain words or things at certain time and not all, if at anytime you feel something offending a friend un-intentionally you should say “I am sorry I didn’t mean it in bad way” it’s okay to be courteous to friends…Style of communication and the purpose of the communication is definitely different between two men talking or two women talking to man and woman communicating and sometimes there are rough patches, but if the friendship is valuable, it would be worth working through few misunderstandings…You can’t go into a friendship thinking nothing about your behavior should change or adjust, maybe more adjustment is required in male-female friendships than male-male friendship, but it’s the way of the world…And think of it this way, it prepares you better for married life, all those compromising they talk about…I just rambled on, don’t know if I remained to the topic or addressed anything, but I am too lazy to delete it now…bee bye Khadra
Poor Shafi, give up son! Don’t even try to understand any women…the time is better spent on tending to your grandad in Calmadow’s camel. But if you decide to pursue that Xaawaleey then good luck..you need it!
Paradise, lool my theories are not very provocative, but engaging thats all. they get defensive, so thats a pleasure watching them talk nineteen to the dozen.
Khadra, friendship is indeed valuable, but does not require incessant breakouts and lashing out at one another for negligible reasons. Communication is terrible when it comes to Somalis.
Advocate, i have given up walle. i am on my way to Cal Madow insha-Allah this summer for a change!
I fell out with a former very good friend of mine from Uni. Apparently I had said something that upset her in front of her boyfriend. Natually, I tried to apologise and find out what I had said so I wouldn’t the same mistake again. Her response: “If you don’t know what it is you said, then I’m not going to tell you!” What the duece??
And thus ended a really good friendship..
my former fiance’ takes the word “stupid” very seriously; it really annoys me because i have said that word loosely my entire life (never meaning anything by it) and then i meet this man; whose parents screwed him up by teaching him to think of the word “stupid” as a curse word…he equates the word stupid to the word i hate (bitch) but i think that that is just ridiculous
Hey ya it’s me Weird Bibo!!
U got to balance ur evaluation about Women my friend. Being friends for a long time u r generalizing the female picture now they are not all that shallow and pathetic come on!!!!!!!!
U only could get away with this cuz some women wouldn’t care less about any thing which then makes it even harder to tell why. Take the challenge as I know u do and analyse those WIERDOES!!!!!!!!! its much more fun. And for thoese who get upset by the word “stupid”
DAMN THEY ARE REALLY STUPID AND NEED THERAPY lol :-)